“We become what we surround ourselves with.” Age old wisdom, right? Some may be skeptical, arguing ‘not if we are in control of ourselves.’ Sadly only few of us have the resolve to not let our surroundings influence us. And guess what? Sometimes it’s even a good thing to not be in control, that is if the environment benefits us. I know, it’s a bit dramatic but now you understand how this article will be unfolding.

Let’s try to understand the topic a bit clearly first. Your environment is the scenario of how and where you live. This includes your family, current residence, friend circle, university or school, the clubs you join, even your room and much more. Basically, your current scenario and everything that constitutes it. Now, what do I mean by “Changing Your Life”? Well, in this context, it means anything that has a positive effect on you and your life i.e. good habits, good friends, good relations, good income, good health, and so on. I know that’s what is most concerning to many people—and likely to you, too. blueprint’s goal categorization and prioritization standardizes goals to tackle this issue, helping pinpoint and direct energy to life’s top priorities.

How does our environment shape and influence us?

So does our environment really have a massive influence on our life? And can we do nothing to change our lives by ourselves? We can act as a catalyst but still I would argue that our environment is everything when it comes to changing our lives. Let me elaborate with a couple of examples: Say you realize that you have a really bad social life, few friends or no prospects for any relationship. So just like everyone nowadays, you go on the internet and binge watch all those dating gurus and life coaches (a lot of people do this, mainly guys.) They gaslight and belittle you for being timid and useless. So you take their advice and try to talk to random people on the bus, on the street, on social media. You work hard, only to find this is not working. Why? Cause the issue was never you, it was your environment. Now, instead of being a menace to random strangers, you decided to join a club (a gym, cooking class, theater, trekking group, a biking (not gangs) group, boxing, anything) or even rejoined university. All of a sudden you find that it was never that hard to meet new people and make friends. Even though you put a lot of effort on the first approach, why did the second approach work so well? Because it was a new environment that was ideal for socialization with lots of opportunity. People with the same hobby or purpose, which acted as a binder i.e. something that held your new found friendship until something much deeper could develop. See how just changing your environment brought such a massive change.

Let’s do another one. Say you want to get better at your studies. You set a schedule and decide to sit through intensive self-study sessions. You sit with your books opened, pen in hand, laptop turned on and paper on the desk. All of sudden, this is starting to get quite difficult. Your phone notifications tempt you. You feel like having a drink or eating a snack. You feel like you deserve a break every 15 minutes. You browse movie sites or youtube on your laptop. Before you know it, you’ve forsaken your schedule and your resolve. But now, you decide to take things to the next level. You decide to join a library. It is difficult for the first few days but slowly you get comfortable. No noise, no distractions, no sound of tv or youtube, no snacks, books are close by, and everyone in the library has the same purpose, hence creating any distraction feels very uncomfortable.

The effect of changing your environment is so obvious in both of these scenarios that lack of discipline or willpower was never the issue. It was your environment not you that was preventing growth or change. Place yourself in a much ideal one and then see the change. So many people keep repeating their new year’s resolution and fail to achieve the goals they set for themselves. The blame is always shifted on you (well some of it is on you). So-called life coaches and gurus exaggerate on the lack of effort, dedication and determination. The focus is never on the real issue i.e. your environment. Focus on stimulating a change (hopefully something positive) in your environment and you’ll experience real growth. Want to get healthy? Join a gym or pick up a sport. Increase your earning? Surround yourself with people focused on investment and career. Travel more? Join a hiking or trekking group. Be more social? Join acting or speech class. You’ll soon find out that you have enough willpower and capacity for all of it.

How to determine the ideal environment, and whether it nurtures us?

Before we ask ourselves the big question, we need to be able to identify what type of environment is ideal for the type of change we want. I usually begin with these questions when I do it for me:

Does it align with my objective?

‘If a ship does not know which port to sail, no wind is favourable.’ You do not know your final destination, no amount of effort will be valuable. In this case, you won’t know what type of environment is ideal for you. If I want to be healthy, I must join a diet group, a gym, a sports club, etc. If I want to socialize, I must get a hobby, join a club, travel more, etc. The ideal environment is the one that produces the change we want.

Is it practical for me?

Practicality in this instance is ‘can I do this’. An option that you can’t choose is worthless. And your options are based on time, resources, effort, outcome, etc., especially something that will last in the long run. Let me give you an example: Say I want to be more active and healthy. So I decide to join a hiking group, only to find out that I have a tight schedule due to my job and studies and I do not want to waste my weekend climbing some hill on a scorching or a freezing day (Depends on the season). This new environment is unsuitable for me, either I will give up soon or just bring extra stress and load in my life. In this case, a more practical option would be to join the local community club and play some sport in the morning. In comparison, this is much easier and schedule friendly, hence sustainable.

Is it a new experience for me?

A new environment can be quite intimidating. Our confidence is down, and doubt and low self-esteem can creep in. But information empowers us. It is necessary to get as much info about this new environment as possible. This helps us be familiar with it, boosting our courage and confidence to fully embrace the change. Until we feel accustomed and comfortable with the change, our mind will try to fight and reject it. Hence, if you have already gone through some similar change, say like joining school or university again, then you can remember past experiences and be mentally prepared. Or try to familiarize yourself by creating a mental scenario with all that you know. For example: getting info about popular hiking destinations and knowing some tips and tricks before joining a hiking or trekking group in order to fit in more naturally.

What is expected from me i.e. my obligations?

Knowing what a new environment expects from you is also important. This helps us with our previous question i.e. Is it practical? Can we meet all the necessary requirements? Is it sustainable? This can include things like time, effort, money, etc. Here’s an example: Say I want to learn a new IT skill (Cyber Security for instance). I’m sure there are many training institutes with beginner level courses available. But these courses are often expensive and take like a year or two to complete. Now, if I do not have the money or simply feel the time and effort is not worth it, this is not a good choice for me. Instead I can enroll in a fast and popular online course which is much affordable and time flexible and efficient. This is much more sustainable and practical.

What elements and catalysts trigger change in our environment?

Ok, now let’s get into the crux of the article i.e. How to change your environment? Trust me, this is easier said than done. And this is something you need to do by yourself. You do have a role to pay in all of this. The big question is how? What steps or actions can help us put ourselves in a nurturing environment? Or what things can influence or transform our current environment? This is a rather difficult subject as it can vary based on personal circumstances, capabilities, objectives and so on. So, I will provide a list of common things that are quite effective (based on my personal experience):

Location breeds opportunities

Environment, Location, same thing right? Well not really. Location is part of the environment. Say where you live or work or study or relax (cafes, restaurants, play sports, etc.) A new location will provide new interactions (people), new mindset (how things work), new opportunities (say a city vs a town), new routines, new outlook on life and so on. Even moving from one part of the neighbourhood to another can have a significant impact on your day to day lifestyle. If your current location is not ideal for the type of life you want, try moving. I do not mean change your residence (that’s only for desperate times) but, say, change where you have your daily lunch or your gym or your library, or where you usually shop and so on.

New people, new experiences

People? Don’t we change the environment to meet new ones? Yes but associating with new people can do the opposite i.e. expose us to a new environment. Our friends (or people we know) may have some hobbies that we might not have, like cafes, boxing, biking, hiking, etc. Being close with them will expose us to those new environments. Having someone to try new things with also gives us courage. So next time you want to be more outgoing or be more active, interact more with people you know that tend to go to the clubs or cafes or play sports or hike or trek.

Hobbies increase exposure

Again, quite straight forward right!? If you start a new hobby, say being a foodie, writing blogs, boxing, gardening, being a movie or comic enthusiast, travelling and so on, you will either try to change your current environment or place yourself in a new one. And a new environment means new opportunities.

Habits plunge us into new environments

Habits and hobbies are quite similar and can overlap, but their purpose is different. One helps you relax, the other helps you improve. Reading literature like comics or story books is a hobby. Just reading more books is a habit. So what are some habits that bring change to our environment? Playing sports, morning exercises or jogging, talking to strangers in cafes or libraries, using more social media (I know, strange. But it is good if done correctly), eating out daily, visiting a new location every week, etc. If you do have troubles building new habits and sticking to them, read ‘Habit Building 101: How To Create Long-Term Productive Habits That Maximize Success’ to get better at creating long-lasting habits.

Mindset expands horizon

Mindset is a crucial catalyst for stimulating change. Unless we are mentally prepared, we will constantly try to reject the change, because in our minds, we are not someone that is built for that kind of change or environment. Our picture about the type of person we are, will always be in conflict with our new reality. Let me use an example for clarity: Say you want to be more active or healthy or simply want to build muscles. Unless you can picture yourself with a fit and active body in your mind, you will always find it difficult to join a gym, get motivated to do the work and blend into that new environment. You won’t feel the excitement or the desire to get a gym membership. Even if you do join one, you will feel lazy, get tired too easily, won’t feel motivated or just give up and think it is not something you can do. Here’s another one: Say you want to be less shy and improve your conversation skills. Unless you picture yourself being talkative or becoming that character in the play, you will never muster the courage or the desire to actually take an acting or speech class. And even if you do, you will feel hesitant, nervous, uneasy and so on. You have to make your personality flexible so that it can accept the new change smoothly.

All these things are interrelated. Focusing on even two or three can trigger a chain reaction. I can’t stress enough how much our environment shapes our personality, our reality, our expectations, our confidence, our achievements, and so on. There is a reason why someone with a stable family and a good background does far better than someone without (It’s the environment they grow in.) So next time you want to change your life in a positive way, focus on assessing your surroundings first, not doubting your own confidence or capabilities. I do not mean ignore your flaws or laziness but your environment is a much bigger priority.

FAQs – Additional Information & Queries

How to know who needs change? You or your environment?

Sometimes it is indeed us who needs change. However, to be sure, we need to assess a couple of things. Were other people also having bad experiences in the same environment that we are currently in? And are doing better in a new environment? What about the effort we are putting in, compared to others? If someone else is getting more out of the same or even less effort as you, then your current environment is just not ideal to you. If none of that is true, then you now know who needs to change (Yes, that’s you!).

What is the fastest and easiest way to bring change to our environment?

Location, especially where you live or work. If you can’t relocate or find a new job, try to at least limit your presence in your old location as much as you can. For most people, it would probably be something like getting out of the house as much as they can.

How to identify the right people to associate with?

Associating with new people always comes with its own challenges, right!? You do not have to indiscriminately associate with those who might expose you to harmful environments or habits. My advice is to clearly communicate and set up your boundaries beforehand. I do not mean being hostile or rude but let them know your comfort and tolerance level. If they do not respect it, they are not the right person for you.